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The Story of Us…Becomes A Trio

IMG_0783[1]Not a post that I really expected to be writing!  My wife just found out the other day that she is expecting again!  This will be baby #3 (or 8, depending on how we’re counting…and if you’ve read my other posts) and I’ve found it very comical that in the same week that we found out this news this picture began surfacing on Facebook – rather fiting I thought.

Liz and I have talked about the possibility of a third child for a while, but never really but any deep thought into, I guess you could say.  We were happy with our two girls and were just gonna leave it at that.  Well, we got a surprise!

Things are still very early.  My wife will go to the doctor this Tuesday for an ultrasound and some bloodwork.  She will just be 6 weeks at this point, and yes, everyone knows.  I know that goes against everything – tradition, logic, etc. – but we’ve never been good at keeping secrets and we’ve always wanted to prayers and support of everyone around us due to the problems we’ve had in the past. 

So all of that has started again as well – the shots, the medications, and of course the worry.  Days already seem to be creeping by.  We are still in a bit of shock, but our brains are running wide open with things too. 

I know each pregnancy is different, but this one is a bit more different for us because we have two other kids now and our oldest has a little better idea of what is going on.  She was only 11 months old when we got surprised with her sister.  It seems her brain has been running too fast since we told her as well.  When is the baby coming has already been asked a couple hundred times in the last few days!  It has been sweet though hearing here talk about, “when my other sister gets here”. 

I haven’t been able to convince her of the possibility that it could be a little brother!

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The Story of Us…Starting Over (Part 4)

This is the fourth installment of “The Story of Us”.  I wanted to share our journey through infertility and miscarriage so I have been going back and telling our journey through four miscarriages, too many doctors appointments, and too much medicine! To catch up on the story read The Story of Us…Surprise and Heartache (Part 3), The Story of Us…Just Another Step (Part 2) and The Story of Us…The Beginning (Part 1).

It was December of 2007 – people were getting ready for Christmas.  Presents were being purchased; decorations were being hung.

This was not the case in the Worthey house.

The last thing Liz and I were thinking about was Christmas parties, gifts or any holly-jollies.  We were still sorting out and picking up the pieces after having our first miscarriage.  Essentially, we were told that these things happen sometimes.  Of course, that was of little comfort.  We were now in a place that we never thought we would be in.

We were told it would take a little time before we could try again.  I was not sure what to expect from Liz – would she want to try again, would she be worried of what might happen if we did?  Well, pretty much all of the above was true – she did want to try again, but yes, she was worried of the “what if’s”.  Both of us were.

So it was time for the medicine again, counting days, and hoping and praying.  This was around February, 2008.  Many conversations were had of what if it works and what if it goes wrong.  For some reason I was confident everything would work and that everything would be fine.  It was hard for Liz to be so hopeful – she was scared and rightfully so.

Two weeks doesn’t seem like a long time – until you are counting every day and waiting to take a test.  But the day finally came, and it was positive again!  Excitement would be the normal reaction here – but it was not.  Worry was overwhelming emotion.  We again told friends and family and asked for their prayers during this time.  The first miscarriage came at about the 6 week mark – so we were just holding our breath as each day went by.

We made it again to the 6 week mark and Liz called for me.  Bleeding – again.  Could this really be happening again?  We made a frantic phone call to our doctor who told us to come in to the office.  We went in for an ultrasound to see if they could see anything.

Talk about holding your breath!  As the tech and our doctor looked at that little black and white screen, we heard those words again that we still could not believe.  There was nothing there – called a blighted ovum.  A huh?  I had never heard of such!

Liz and I had now experienced two miscarriages.  Instead of holding one child, we had now lost two.  We didn’t understand.  We had more questions that we had answers!  Why did this keep happening? What would the next step be? How far would we go….how far could we go?

The next few days would not bring any answers to those questions.  Liz would go through extreme physical pain and indescribable emotional pain as a result of this miscarriage.  We knew something could possibly be wrong – where would we begin to find answers?

Over the next months we would begin to start putting some of the pieces of the puzzle together…

 
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Posted by on December 7, 2010 in Baby, Infertility, Uncategorized

 

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The Story of Us…Surprise and Heartache (Part 3)

positive pregnancy test

Image via Wikipedia

This is the third installment of “The Story of Us”.  I wanted to share our journey through infertility and miscarriage so I have been going back and telling our journey through four miscarriages, too many doctors appointments, and too much medicine! To catch up on the story read The Story of Us…Just Another Step (Part 2) and The Story of Us…The Beginning (Part 1)

The day had finally come – it was time to take a test.  As I had said before, it wasn’t exactly how I thought we’d be finding out.  I sort of expected the usual scene you see on TV where I’d come home from work and Liz would surprise me somehow with the news.  She’d either give me a little baby diaper or a bib – something like that.  Well, as mentioned before when you’re taking fertility meds and counting down days, not much is a surprise.

I was standing outside the bathroom door – waiting.  How long is 3 minutes anyway?  Liz finally opens the door and tells me IT’S POSITIVE!

Wait, what?  Positive!  Really?  We’re going to be parents..we’re having a baby, uh, what, what do we need, what do we do, umm…So many thoughts, so little brain power to actually process them!

Liz and I were actually getting ready that morning to go to a funeral in New Orleans.  So what do we do?  We head to the store to get another pregnancy test just to make sure the first one was right!  The second one was just as positive as the first!  Also in typical “Brian and Liz” fashion – we head to the book store for pregnancy and baby books.  We bought What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Figured there wasn’t a better one to get, right?  We had a 3 hour car ride ahead of us and lots of time to think.  It had finally started sinking in – I was going to be a dad…We were going to be parents.  Our lives were about to totally change.

Over the next week or so, we would tell our parents, several of our closest friends, and then pretty much everyone.  We couldn’t keep it a secret anymore.  We were excited and we wanted everyone else to be too!

Then something went wrong.

Liz noticed that she was bleeding.  This couldn’t be normal could it?  By this time we had read a LOT….and we knew this more than likely was not normal.  The doctor had Liz come in for some blood work – to see where her hcg level was.  This first test basically told us nothing.  She would have to repeat it in two days to see if the number was going up or not.  In a normal pregnancy, that number doubles about every 48 hours.  Those were two of the longest 2 days of our lives.  We thought the two weeks waiting to take the pregnancy test were bad – that was nothing.

We finally got a call from our doctor – she wanted us to come in to the office.  I felt like I was walking around in a fog – a constant knot in my stomach and lump in my throat.  I could only imagine what Liz was feeling.

We got the news that I think Liz and I were both expecting.  The numbers were going down – meaning that Liz was having a miscarriage.

Miscarriage?

That was one word we never thought of when we got that positive test two weeks ago.  The doctor explained our options at this point – none of which sounded good at all.  We left the office that day just feeling empty.  All the dreams for a baby were dashed in just a few short words.  The doctor explained that these things just happen sometimes.  There was nothing we could have done to have prevented it.  That didn’t seem to help.

I would try and figure out how to handle my emotions and take care of my wife that had just lost our baby.  We thought that was such a empty expression – lost – we knew where it was.  It wasn’t like misplacing a set of keys or phone.

Over  the next few weeks and months, we’d try and pick up the pieces, sort all of this out, and try and make the decision to try again…

 
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Posted by on December 1, 2010 in Baby, Infertility

 

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