This is the fourth installment of “The Story of Us”. I wanted to share our journey through infertility and miscarriage so I have been going back and telling our journey through four miscarriages, too many doctors appointments, and too much medicine! To catch up on the story read The Story of Us…Surprise and Heartache (Part 3), The Story of Us…Just Another Step (Part 2) and The Story of Us…The Beginning (Part 1).
It was December of 2007 – people were getting ready for Christmas. Presents were being purchased; decorations were being hung.
This was not the case in the Worthey house.
The last thing Liz and I were thinking about was Christmas parties, gifts or any holly-jollies. We were still sorting out and picking up the pieces after having our first miscarriage. Essentially, we were told that these things happen sometimes. Of course, that was of little comfort. We were now in a place that we never thought we would be in.
We were told it would take a little time before we could try again. I was not sure what to expect from Liz – would she want to try again, would she be worried of what might happen if we did? Well, pretty much all of the above was true – she did want to try again, but yes, she was worried of the “what if’s”. Both of us were.
So it was time for the medicine again, counting days, and hoping and praying. This was around February, 2008. Many conversations were had of what if it works and what if it goes wrong. For some reason I was confident everything would work and that everything would be fine. It was hard for Liz to be so hopeful – she was scared and rightfully so.
Two weeks doesn’t seem like a long time – until you are counting every day and waiting to take a test. But the day finally came, and it was positive again! Excitement would be the normal reaction here – but it was not. Worry was overwhelming emotion. We again told friends and family and asked for their prayers during this time. The first miscarriage came at about the 6 week mark – so we were just holding our breath as each day went by.
We made it again to the 6 week mark and Liz called for me. Bleeding – again. Could this really be happening again? We made a frantic phone call to our doctor who told us to come in to the office. We went in for an ultrasound to see if they could see anything.
Talk about holding your breath! As the tech and our doctor looked at that little black and white screen, we heard those words again that we still could not believe. There was nothing there – called a blighted ovum. A huh? I had never heard of such!
Liz and I had now experienced two miscarriages. Instead of holding one child, we had now lost two. We didn’t understand. We had more questions that we had answers! Why did this keep happening? What would the next step be? How far would we go….how far could we go?
The next few days would not bring any answers to those questions. Liz would go through extreme physical pain and indescribable emotional pain as a result of this miscarriage. We knew something could possibly be wrong – where would we begin to find answers?
Over the next months we would begin to start putting some of the pieces of the puzzle together…