This is the second installment of “The Story of Us”. I wanted to share our journey through infertility and miscarriage so I have been going back and telling our journey through four miscarriages, too many doctors appointments, and too much medicine! To catch up on the story read The Story of Us…The Beginning (Part 1)
Continuing with our story here, I realize how much I wish I’d done this all along the way with this. I’ve read other blogs of similar people, dealing with similar problems – emotions and feelings are still raw. It’s funny – in a way I feel guilty. See, before it’s almost like you are part of this club – and believe me it’s not a club you want to be part of. Now, Liz and I are on the other side of the fence – we’re pregnant, in the third trimester, and everything appears to be going great! I read these lady’s posts and really feel guilty. I do understand what they are going through, not completely, because I’m a guy – and, well, a guy’s perspective is totally different. I hope if any of them are reading this, or if any of you reading this are dealing with infertility, that hopefully this will provide some ray of hope to your situation – and that I’m not the outcast now because my wife and I are expecting.
Before going to this third doctor, that I mentioned in my previous post, Liz and I had tried to have a baby “on our own”. Due to the PCOS, Liz’s cycles were crazy, which made things very difficult to – well, let’s just say it made things difficult. This third doctor that we would go to though was awesome! She was a caring, Christian doctor and definitely a breath of fresh air! It was with this doctor that we would start fertility drugs.
FERTILITY DRUGS?! What!?
Wait – people that take fertility drugs end up with 8 kids at once! I didn’t want that! I only wanted one, maybe two at a time. Besides I didn’t know how we’d afford one, much less multiples! The doctor reassured is that it was considered a mild drug and the chance of multiples was very low – she didn’t know our luck – if it can happen, it will happen with us!
Our first round on clomid would have been October/November of 2007. Looking back now, Liz and I had discussed most of the usual stuff – did we want to take medicine, what about the septum in her uterus, but we really didn’t discuss WHAT IF it actually works? We, well she, took the medicine on the days she was supposed to and all – this was a little foreign to us too, to me anyway. You get into this mode of counting days, and taking temperatures and on and on – let’s just say I would learn more about things dealing with “trying to conceive (TTC)” than I would EVER want to know.
We were beginning to realize this wasn’t normal – we weren’t normal. Most people decide to have children and they HAVE children. This was only the first of many things to come that would make us realize we weren’t normal. Liz was dealing with more emotions with this than I was. Oh, not to mention side effects from the medicine. I’m sure that didn’t help either. But we were taking it one day at a time – and waiting until it was time to take a test. Liz had always told me that she had thought of some unique way to tell me she was pregnant, but when you are on medicine, and counting days – it sort of ruins those surprise moments like you see on TV.
One of our first surprises would come one Saturday morning…